Hey! So, Coming Out Day is coming up soon (Oct. 11) and I just want to post a very stern reminder to NOT out anyone without their explicit permission.
Do NOT out anyone.
this is also a less important point, but still worth noting: DO NOT “come out” as an ally. don’t you dare.
if you “come out” as an ally i KICK YOUR ASS BACK INTO WHATEVER “CLOSET” YOU THINK YOU “CAME OUT” FROM AND I WILL LOCK YOU THE FUCK IN
Also, as a bi woman who is not ready to come out to her family yet, if you aren’t ready to come out, or only want to come out to selected people, that is 100% okay too.
“Master glassblower and stained glass artist Loren Stump in California has wowed the internet with an extraordinary display of virtuosity. He created a “loaf” of glass, called murrine, out of carefully layered glass rods that, when sliced, reveal a painstakingly detailed work of art in cross-section.
"The most impressive thing about his work is that the resulting image can only be seen in its entirety after the murrini is cut…"
HOW IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2014?!?!
A real statue in Holland. Although it is a statue of Father Christmas, locals will call it butt plug gnome.
god bless butt plug gnome
peaceontheplanet replied to your post “hey all! so i hit a frankly stupid follower benchmark this week, and…”Can you tell me another story? I’m bored out of my mind working for insurance and could use an lol. Hope you’re having an otherwise good day with your stupid follower count :)
sure, peaceontheplanet. i mean i can’t promise it’s gonna be as funny as the internet apparently found the porn thing but like, HERE’S A STORY ABOUT THE TIME I GOT MUGGED AT KNIFEPOINT (BUT BY A GENTLEMAN).
so when i was studying in argentina, it was like a thursday, and they were having what’s called a “feria” which is kind a holiday?? in argentina sometimes they decide to CANCEL EVERYTHING, ostensibly to celebrate things like books and students but i suspect really so that nobody has to go to work.
- argentina gets me.
ANYWAY, i decided that day to go the gym! this was new and different for me, a person who considers “intense chewing” to be exercise.
BIKINI BOD: ON TRACK.
so i went to the gym. it went the way that trips to the gym usually do for 5’8” girls with severe pigeon toes and a total lack of all motivation.
as i’m walking home, past the college of dentistry, i was fussing with a lighter that i had in my pocket because i was also, at that time, dealing with my fear of intimacy by smoking. so this guy comes up to me and is like, “hey, can i borrow a light?”
here’s a list of things i should have said:
- "sorry, no."
- "ahhhhhh you know what, i would, but i’m super busy right now??? i actually have a dentist’s appointment, as evidenced by this College of Dentistry that i’m standing outside??"
- "NO HABLO ESPAÑOL."
- "don’t you know that smoking gives you cancer? let’s commit to quitting, right now, to each other. bring it in. go team. together we can."
here’s what i did say:
- "claro que sí, amigo."
he’s trying to light his cigarette, and his hands are shaking a little? so he can’t. and i’m like, dude, calm down, it’s okay. what is this, your first cigarette or something? lol.
after a few seconds, he kind of goes, “fuck it,” and drops the lighter into his pocket. and i’m like, “excuse me??? that’s my lighter?? also you didn’t even manage to light your cigarette???” but before i can vocalize these protests, he gets rEALLY close to me and pulls out a knife. then he goes, “you have three seconds.”
what i should have said:
- "okay. you can have whatever you want."
- "here’s my wallet."
- "wow, what a very sharp-looking knife, in what way can i avoid being stabbed with it today??"
what i actually said:
- "haha, uhhhhh, until what?"
UNTIL WHAT. “UNTIL WHAT, MR. SIR WITH THE KNIFE? LIKE, WHAT’S ON THE MENU HERE????”
BUT HE DIDN’T SAY DEATH!!! it turns out that the gentleman attempting to rob me was like, maybe a rookie? it’s possible that he had never robbed anybody at knife-point, before. this as an experience that we were going through together for the first time.
because what he said was: “….i have a knife.”
i said, “yes. i can see that. it’s very nice.”
- IN MY DEFENSE: IF YOU ARE GOING TO ROB SOMEONE, THE ONUS IS ON YOU TO GIVE CLEAR DIRECTIONS.
- "i have a knife"??? come on, buddy. be better prepared. come with a to-do list. practice in a mirror.
- "then i’m going to pull out the knife and say: give me _____."
- clear, concise, quick. that should be your motto, buddy. it is not MY JOB, as the ROBBEE, to read your goddamn mind. I AM NOT DRIVING THIS SHIP. IF YOU ALSO AREN’T DRIVING IT, WE ARE IN TITANIC-LEVEL TROUBLE.
at this point, clearly realizing that he had gotten in tOO DEEP with this dumbass tourist who didn’t even know how to get robbed properly, he blurted out, “uhhhhh, do you have a phone?”
i did have a phone! i had a broken claro go-phone that i had purchased upon entering the country which had 2 argentine pesos worth of text messages left in it and a inbox message from a boy name juan that said, “you like me a LOT.”
- i had responded, “actually, i just like you the normal amount.”
- i felt bad about that when i realized that he was trying to say, “i like YOU a lot,” but feelings verbs in spanish are mostly reflexive.
- SORRY JUAN.
i handed the man with the knife my phone. he looked at it. looked back up at me. “r u srs?” his face seemed to say. “this is what you’re giving me right now? a janky ass claro go-phone that is CLEARLY MISSING THE NUMBER 7 KEY????”
look, the shoddy workmanship is a source of frustration to you and me BOTH, okay. we’re BOTH victims here.
but the beautiful thing about this story is that HE TOOK IT! he looked at me, looked down at his knife, sighed, and put the phone in his pocket. THEN HE REACHED BACK INTO HIS POCKET AND RETURNED MY LIGHTER TO ME.
we looked at each other.
- here’s the thing that no one tells you about daylight robbery: there’s like. an afterbeat.
- there is a moment in between “robbery-in-progress” and “going home to your homestay and explaining that you can’t answer phone calls anymore” where you and your robber have to look at one another and figure out HOW TO WALK AWAY.
- listen, friends: in robberies, as everywhere, goodbyes are never easy.
"thank you," he said.
"you’re welcome," i answered.
he hesitated. “have a good day,” he said.
"………….okay," i answered. "you too. enjoy the phone."
- ENJOY THE PHONE?????
- IT WAS BROKEN. IT WAS CLEARLY BROKEN. WE BOTH KNEW THAT NOTHING BUT HEARTACHE WAS GOING TO COME FROM THAT PHONE.
i think about this a lot, and i wonder if he ever thinks about me. i wonder if he ever thinks, “that goddamn asshole knew i was going to have to press the 7 key four hundred times before it registered anything.”
- i’m sorry, man with the knife. i panicked. in the heat of the moment, we all say things we don’t mean.
Some how that is the most you robbery ever.
This is what feminists mean when they say that feminism is about gender equality. It’s not really about equality, it’s about paying men back for all the supposed grievances women have suffered at the hands of the “patriarchy”.
Social revenge workers
You… do realize it’s trying to point out the wage gap between men and women, right?
Women make 75 cents to the dollar that men make. And that’s just WHITE women. POC women make even less.
So, yes, it is for equality. So that when men see that price difference, they go “Hey, that’s not equal, that sucks” and women can say “YES, LET ME TELL YOU A THING”
OMFG. THIS. SHOW.
It’s time for an incredibly dark and sometimes out-of-focus video of my cat’s most favorite game.
Is Lego Cap checking out his own butt?
The thing that’s so disgusting about the murders of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Sean Bell etc (a very long list) is that it’s not like we’re trying to figure out who killed them. We know perfectly well. We’re just trying to figure out if that black kid deserved to die. They’re humanity is put on trial, like being a person wasn’t enough. Black people literally have to prove that we’re worthy of living.
wow look at this terrible role model for young girls.
Today in Solidarity (9.27.14): The Lost Voices campground since Mike Brown’s murder was ransacked by police… so petty. #staywoke #farfromover
Don’t know who the Lost Voices are yet? They’re the youth brigade on the frontlines of Ferguson, leading the fight for justice for Mike Brown. (Many of those tweets you see on my posts are from LV.) Yesterday, their campsite was raided without notice. These young leaders have been under constant attack from police since protests began, but yesterday was a clear intimidation move. Well guess what— Lost Voices will not be intimidated or stopped. Please make sure you’re showing them your love and support. Consider donating to their efforts today.
It’s the OWS raid all over again. Defense of property is a notion that only applies to the people in power. Weirdly, I bet there won’t be a libertarian/teabagger outcry about this.
May you have enough money to pay your bills this month with a little extra left over for a bit of fun.
This is one of the nicest things to wish for someone
86 years ago today (1927) Gutzon Borglum began defacing the sacred BlackHills with Mt. Rushmore.
Everyone must remember that “Mt. Rushmore” (the Black Hills) does not legally belong to the federal government, and especially not to South Dakota. It was acknowledged as belonging to the sovereign Lakota Nation in the Sioux Treaty of 1868. The federal government STOLE the Hills from the Lakota, breaking the law they wrote with their own hands! The US is a repeat criminal but no one holds them accountable!
never fucking forget.